Saying Goodbye

Saying Goodbye

What an odd and rare thing it is to say goodbye these days. There are so many ways to be in contact, to stay in touch, to remain on the periphery of someone’s life. 

Today, I said goodbye to a person who knows me quite well: my therapist. During seminary, I sought out counseling as an additional way to process what I was learning in school and to help me navigate the murky waters that are one’s mid-twenties. It was one of the most rewarding decisions I’ve ever made (and one of the wisest investments). My weekly meetings with my therapist have shaped me for ministry just as much as any class or sermon or mentor. I am stronger, smarter, and more aware of myself than I ever could have become on my own. Having sat with such an intelligent and insightful woman nearly every week for two years, I learned how to be pastored. I learned how to receive care and help. I learned how to observe myself in my many contexts.

I also learned what sort of pastor I want to be, what sort of confidante and friend and girlfriend and daughter I want to be. And I began taking steps to become that person: the person who is more fully “me.”

But, I’ve moved to a new city, begun a new ministry, and it is no longer possible for me to sit in my therapist’s cheerful office overlooking Hyde Park. It’s time to move on. So, today we said goodbye over the phone. Awkwardly trying to tell one another what this relationship has meant, I cried and told her, “I don’t think I would have made it this far without you.”

Her reply was this, “I’ll accept that with gratitude, but only if you own the fact that whatever assistance or help I offered was just that: assistance and help. You did this, you made it this far.”

And it’s true. Graduating from seminary and landing a great first call was my accomplishment (guided by God, but I made the choice to follow). I wrote those papers. I walked that road. 

But, my, what a difference a good companion makes on the journey. 

And that’s the point, right? We walk with one another.